Part of my spiritual focus in recent years has been the bringing of soulmates into our lives. My guides have been pushing me in this direction for a few years now. They are stating that those on the other side are very concerned that so many people are out there either alone, or with the wrong person. They say that we are meant to be with a soulmate, and that we are not meant to be alone. This is something they stress regularly to me:and that I need to be helping people connect with their soulmates.
The number one reason most people consult a psychic or intuitive counselor is for advice on their love life. Often the main reason for failure in a relationship is that the individual isn’t clear on what they are looking for in a relationship and end up settling for someone who is less than they deserve or want, or with no one at all. Often they even marry just because someone was available and asked them. They settle because they don’t want to be alone.
Marrying the wrong person only denies you both a chance at your soul mate ~ Alessandra Torre
When we look for a new job, we give it a lot of thought. We search and interview carefully, until we find something that suits us. We know what we want to do, how much we hope to earn, and what location we want to work in. When we look for a new place to live, we scout out a number of options before making a decision. If we are looking for a new employee, we interview a number of contenders, and we select the best candidate for hire.
But, with a relationship, many of us settle for the first person that is available, or the first one we feel some attraction to, without really seeing if that person truly fits our needs and wants.
The better you know yourself and what you are looking for, the better chance you have of connecting with the right person. In counseling people, the first thing I ask them to do is to make a list of all the good and then another list of all the bad traits that their parents, past relationships, and mentors had. Chances are they will be attracted to these same traits in a future partner, because this is what they are familiar with.
Unfortunately, we are often attracted to people who possess the negative traits of our parents. It is not until we are way into the relationship that we find we have attracted someone who possesses all the negative traits of one or both of our parents.
What we really need is someone who possesses all the positive traits of our parents. Such a person would be someone we can be comfortable and happy with. Because this is all done on a subconscious level, we often have no idea of the mistake we make, until we are months or years into the situation!
Love may be harder to find in some people, but when they do love you know it must be something marvelous ~ Criss Jami
Can this be avoided? Absolutely. When you make your lists and compare them, you will see the pattern of your relationships and why they have not been working. You’ll begin to understand why you are ending up with the wrong people. Or, maybe you are ending up with those that are picking you instead of waiting for what you want. When you begin a new relationship in the future, pay attention and be absolutely sure that this new love interest does not possess those negative parental traits. This involves getting to know yourself and why you are picking the people you are picking, and taking time before jumping into a new relationship.
Often someone who possesses the positive qualities you know you want feels less comfortable to you, because these qualities are less familiar and you find yourself pulling away. Having your list to refer and compare helps you to take a chance and say, “This doesn’t feel comfortable because it is so new, but it is everything I want. Perhaps, I need to give it a chance and see what happens.”
Without your list to remind you of the qualities you are seeking, you might go back to your old pattern of selecting people with negative qualities, just because they are familiar. So, lead with your heart, but also think with your brain in selecting your soulmate. That person who feels a bit scary, because the energy is so new, may just be your desired mate. Get to know them before you jump in. Make sure they are the one.